Thank you to all my loyal fans and followers who've been with me since I
grew out that heinous pixie cut in the second grade and blossomed into the
stunning beauty that I am today ;)
I totally
heart you!
Now, down
to business.
Whoever said tangerine was the new pink needs to be shot, hung,
feathered and tarred. That is a complete and total lie. If you don't
believe me, take a look at last night's Insta' of Nanette in that puke-worthy,
tangerine knit croptop. Just because you lose twenty pounds doesn't mean
you should show us your stretch marks. Halloween isn't for another two
months, so stop trying to scare us with your "outtie" and make tangerine
a thing. It's NOT a thing!
Speaking of things that don’t actually exist, Hi Skylar!
Also who
ever decided to remove the “reserved” sign from my table in the cafetorium, I
hope you have life insurance.
Today’s
State of The Union Address:
-Tina
Tompkins gained 6 pounds. Rumor has it that extra food baby has cost her her
position on the cheer squad. And by rumor I mean, don’t bother showing up to
practice tomorrow T.
-The
Jennifers are officially on the outs after Jennifer C. caught Jennifer J. making out
with her boyfriend during free period. JJ, I’d be more worried about firing your
stylist for letting you think ombre was still a thing.
People
who need to hired a stylist:
Skyscraper Skylar
Jenny B. (Sorry, but khaki jeans? On a Wednesday?)
Patty S. (Sorry, not sorry.)
The girl that sits in front of my in Chem (Don’t know your name and
don’t care, but burn that top.)
Chick that wore faux fur vest over fringe top
Anyone who owns crocks—or has ever thought about owning crocks. –Kill
yourself.
Ciao
Bellas!
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